Officer, I can explain…

Posted August 12th, 2005 by Dad | Comments Off

Over the last several days D and I have been on a quest to permenantly dispatch an armadillo that has been harassing the gentle plants in our flowerbeds. After many mundane and humiliating attempts to settle the score, we were not sure we would win. However, we did eventually triumph and the armadillo ended up taking a permanent dirt nap.

One event happened in the middle of this quest that I feel compelled to share. Let me tell you about our friend William. William is a great friend, the kind of guy you can call when you need to lay a floor, or demolish a building. He is also the kind of guy you can call when you need to kill something. So naturally he was one of my first calls. We agreed I should call him when the little armored bugcatcher showed up again.

That night, it arrived. I called William and he showed up about 10 minutes later. The little armadillo had already vanished, much to my dismay. William and I were talking about how fast he arrived. Then it dawned on us he should drive slower on the way home. You see, he came fully prepared to help me out, and he had a shovel, a rather large rubbermaid container, and a gun all in plain sight in the car.

“Officer, there really is a good reason for this. You see there is this armadillo. His name is Mary…”

I suppose I would have been responsible for his bail at that point